Gosh, I absolutely LOVE a good road trip! I love it so much. Sometimes we joke that I love the road trip part more than the destination part. Now, we are an active duty military family so, by necessity, we do A LOT of road trips. We’ve lived in 7 different states, so whether we are driving to visit family, visit friends from past posts or exploring the region we are in, we have done tons of road trips. So this is coming from a momma who knows!
I mean, seriously, what’s not to love? Hours upon hours of restrained children, good music, an open road and all I have to do is drive! Sign me up! For those of you new here, I have 6 kiddos, 2 sets of twins, several of various neurodiversities. Did I mention the restrained kiddos? The van is my happy place. Except when it’s not.
Because, let’s be honest, road trips with kids are a mixed bag. When it goes well, it goes well. When it goes bad, oh boy, it can go really bad, quickly. Most trips are a mixture of the two, so strap in, hang on, and let’s cover the good, the bad and the ugly from a momma who has seen it all and kept driving.
Now, I really try to set myself up for success, a nice, smooth, easy trip but, honestly, it’s the worst ones that go down in family lore and get talked about (and most important, laughed about!) the most. That one road trip from Virginia to Kansas when 2 kids were throwing up simultaneously? When cups of puke were being passed up for me to empty out the window so they could be re-thrown up in? The Taco Bell stop where one was throwing up in the toilet while the other was puking into the sink. They did, at times, pause to hold each other’s hair and pass around tissues. Now that’s a special memory that I wouldn’t trade in for 10 consecutive hours of sleep!
So let’s start with packing logistics. My van is to me, essentially, a really big extension of my purse. So there are some basics I always have available to me. One is a bag with a single change of clothes for each kiddo and some basics for myself. We always have a well supplied first aid kit and a bin of books and some car activities. These are a given.
But depending on how long we are traveling for, what time of year it is and where we are going, these questions dictate my packing. If we are heading to a family house, I tend to pack lighter than if we are going to a hotel or air B&B or making multiple stops.
Usually, I plan for about 4 days without laundry. So 4 complete outfits per kid, appropriate for the weather. If it is summer I still will throw in 1-2 long sleeves and full pants and if it is winter I pack a separate bag of coats and gear. I kinda get some added benefits due to my twins factor – I have to ability to share clothes if someone spills or pukes on themselves. It’s a perk I seldom take for granted. All (or most) clothes packed have to be what we call “car clothes.” Car clothes are comfy; clothes that you will be comfortable in, in the car, for hours. Nothing too hot or bulky, nothing with itchy lace or sequins or buckles. Simple T-shirt and leggings or joggers. These clothes also double for us as pajamas. Clothes you can wear to bed but also play in and are appropriate for public.
If swimming is on the agenda, I have 2 bags. I keep a swimsuits and goggles bag always packed. I find it easier to keep all the swimsuits together, rather than each kid having their suits in their suitcase. It keeps things for me a bit more streamlined and organized. The other bag contains towels for when that won’t be in included like at a hotel pool.
Our average road trip is usually about 10-12 hours. That for us is easy and doable without much added preparation at this point. My kids now consider anything under 10 hours “a short drive.” Over 12 hours, requires a bit more preplanning. Until recently, we would never consider staying a hotel. Until last year, the kids couldn’t swim and I couldn’t keep 4 alive in a pool on my own. And they wouldn’t sleep reliably in a hotel. Definately not enough anyway to justify the expense and the next day I’d be even more tired and not trustworthy to safely drive. Now however, all the kids can swim so if the drive is longer than 16 hours or so, we can break it up and enjoy the hotel experience. Get to the hotel, spend at least 2 hours at the pool and they sleep! This has been a game changer for us! Woo-hoo! If we are doing a hotel, I pack a separate Go Bag- a single bag with one outfit per kid and toothbrushes. So I’m not hauling in 6 suitcases, fun as that is.
Our other packing musts are our pad (tablets & chargers) bag and the med bag. We have a few kids on medications so this bag is vital and must be remembered at all costs. Medications are not easily replaceable and no one wants to deal with unmedicated children for multiple days. I also keep a small pill container in my purse with a 2 day’s supply of meds so I don’t need to dig through the whole big med bag for what I need on the road.
As my kiddos get older I do involve them in the packing process, but I double check and get final say.
Number one road trip tip from me – Leave as early as you possibly can safely drive! For me, that’s 3:45 / 4 am. But you must know yourself. This works for me. I’m at my best in the morning. We have a routine and it works for us and my kids know exactly what to expect.
The evening before our trip, all bags are packed. The iPads are charging overnight. The van is filled up with gas and is loaded with everything we need. The kids (and often myself) go to bed in car clothes. My alarm gets set for 3:20 am. I spend about 10-15 minutes packing the pads up and double checking the med bag. I grab whatever food I have planned to travel with. When that stuff is done, I start waking up the kids. I’ve walked them through this process the night before. They wake up, go potty, grab their blanket and 1 animal (a stuffy), put on or carry their travel shoes (usually just sandals or flip flops) and get in the car and buckle up. I make myself a cup of coffee or tea, throw it in a travel mug and we are OUT!
Before pulling out of the driveway I double check car seats and seat belts. Does everyone have their stuffies and their blankets? Do we all have an accessible pair of shoes? Do we have our glasses? Prescription glasses are about as fun to replace out of town as medications. I do keep a back up pair for each of my boys in the van….usually.
Then we drive! They sleep! I play whatever music I want to! The benefit for me is that I can usually do around 4 hours of driving before the kids even really realize they are in the van. My goal is at least 3 1/2 hours before stopping.
Now comes our first stop. This one is tight. Goal is 20 minutes or less. Executed like a well planned military operation. Find a good gas station with bathrooms and convenience store. A place well lighted, clean and safe looking. Many times, I am on my own with the 6. I have trained them up well to stay together and assign a Little to a Big if the place or situation is questionable at all. Depending on my comfort level, all 6 join me in the restroom. As my boys have aged, they are now sometimes allowed to go together into the men’s room. But if it is very busy or questionable at all, sorry boys, ladies room it is! Five minutes or so before I plan to stop, I make sure everyone is awake and ask them to start finding and putting on their shoes. While I fill up our van, affectionately known as “the beast,” the kids are given bananas to eat. You must eat your banana before getting your breakfast treat, usually bagels or muffins or mini cinnamon rolls, something of that nature, easy to eat, not terribly messy and generally enjoyed by all of the kids. When the beast is filled up, I collect banana wrappers (peels), and we head inside to use the bathroom. I get a cup of coffee and a water, pass out the breakfast treat, and off we go. Usually forgetting to do morning meds and having to stop on the side of the road 5 minutes later to distribute pills. Sigh.
Back on the highway, now kiddos are awake and the questions begin. When do we get pads? Can I pick a song? How much longer? Depending on the total length of the trip, I will allow about 3/4 hours of tech time. But I do try to hold off as long as possible. If we’ve already gotten about 4 hours done, that means we have 6/8 hours left. It’s probably about 8 am by now. Our goal is to stop for lunch around noon. We do one fast food stop per road trip. For the longest time it was always McDonald’s, easy, quick and convenient. Each kiddo has a food they like and eat (key!!), and we can place our order quickly. Now though, as they’ve gotten older, their palettes have widened and we will occasionally, if I’m feeling brave, stop somewhere else. Taco Bell is usually a win for us. So we will talk about lunch and timing and whatever state we might be in and then I’ll have “request hour.” One of the older kids gets to play DJ and take song requests. Each kid will get to pick a song or 2 and then we will switch to music universally enjoyed. Then, depending on how everyone is holding up and the mood of the vehicle, I’ll allow an hour of pads before lunch.
Ideally, when we stop for lunch we will have done about 7 hours. If we’ve done 8, I’m overjoyed and will allow for a longer lunch. If for some reason, traffic or throw up, we are “behind” then lunch needs to be relatively quick. Pump gas, go potty, eat food, do 2 laps around the parking lot, 12 jumping jacks and back in the car! Hopefully, at this point, spirits are high and we have 3 hours left!
If we have more than 3 hours to go, we will do reading or trivia. Trivia can often turn into a blood sport with my kids though so I have to be careful with that one.
Then they are allowed to finish out their tech time while I sing along to the oldies! For a 10 hour trip the goal is 2 stops. My beast has a big tank and I aim to go 3-4 hours without stopping. When we stop, we try to pick places that have all the things. Gas, bathroom, food without having to drive between places. If I’m feeling nice and the kids have been good, at about 1 1/2 – 2 hours to go, I will run through a drive thru for beverage treats. Now I’ve limited fluids up til this point. At lunch, drinks are offered sparingly. So when we are pretty close to our destination, I will allow them to indulge with a small soda or shake. And I get a frappe or other fancy caffeinated beverage. Win win!! We are so close!!
I’m of course, hoping that you have always happy, cooperative kids who love being in the car but just in case you don’t, let’s talk about the ugly. Whining? Turn up the music! I’m kidding….well kind of. I hear them out, address the complaints if I can, answer questions honestly and then ignore. My job is to drive and drive safely. I’m very sorry you are too hot, cold, or that your butt hurts. Hang in there buddy! We are all doing the best we can. There is XX amount of hours left and there’s nothing I can do about that. Sorry, I need to concentrate on driving. If you cater too much to the whining, one kid will set of another kid and I’m sorry, guys, we are all in this together, let’s try to be kind, allow so & so to have their fit or meltdown without making it worse, who wants to listen to Elton John? Keep your head down, keep driving and you will get there eventually.
Now for puke. I have a few that get car sick like it’s their job. I have fine tuned my puking system over the years and this is what works best for us. Big gulp cups with lids. I find it easier for my kids to hold a large cup than to throw up into a bag. I keep several handy. Pass them back some napkins that they then place in the cup. Pass it up, put the lid on it, wrap it in a bag or 2. Quickly if possible, before it starts to smell, triggering a sympathetic sibling into gagging as well. This is where big kid cooperation is vital if you don’t have a second adult with you. For the well being of the herd, you as the oldest must do this. It is a sacred right of passage as the first born. If no Big is available or willing, find a place to pull over. Deal with the puke and the puke covered child and return to the road a quickly as possible. Drawing out the stop, letting others unbuckle, only makes the entire day longer. Good luck young ones and God speed but we must get moving if we want to get there before the sun goes down on us! Handy things to keep in your vehicle at all times for a well tuned puking system – disposable cups with large mouths and lids, plastic bags, napkins, napkins, napkins, a roll of paper towels and a pack of baby wipes. We also have a plethora of car blankets. These live in the van for comfort and warmth. However, when I hear those dreaded words “I don’t feel good,” I will suggest to that child to place a car blanket over themselves and then pass them back one of our many puke cups. The car blanket will help protect to kids clothes and travel blanket from accidental puke splatterage. If if have a true spontaneous puking catastrophe and the child and their car seat gets covered, car blankets can be used to wrap up in or wrap up the puke clothes after changing. A car blanket can go down over the car seat if it’s been saturated. Using paper towels and plastic bags I clean up the car seat the best I can, but that often leaves it wet and smelly so I will use a car blanket to pad the seat and make Miss Pukey more comfortable.
For us, a road trip without puke….is like a unicorn. I believe it has occurred. But it’s not the norm. Accept that someone will puke. Plan for it. I hear that acceptance is the key. Deal with it. Embrace it.
Road trips are adventures and road trips with multiple kids under the age of 10 is not for the faint of heart! But if it’s about making memories, do it! Don’t let fear of the drive stop you. Some…most of our best family memories are made during travel. Not just during the “vacation” (yes, vacation with kids definitely belongs in quotes) but during the drive. Turn it into a quest, part of the experience and ENJOY! Enjoy the drive. I mean, hell, 10 hours without dishes or kids touching you! Pick your jams, momma, and drive on!
Hope this helps!