A handy dandy little parenting trick for moving kids through their basic routines.
Who hasn’t watched Dora the Explorer? It was one of the most popular kids TV series of all times! It excelled for SO many reasons.
Dora is a latin American girl who is bilingual and has a best friend monkey named Boots. They go on adventures together and solve problems. This show was a hit for kids and parents alike.
It also utilized some ground breaking interaction techniques that were kinda unique. She would talk directly to the viewer and have long pauses for the child watching to answer back. There was a ton of repetition in the show as well, allowing young tots to learn words and grasp concepts.
One of the best parts was always when she would have to consult with Map to find out how to get somewhere. Map, of course, had quite the catchy little jingle – I’m the Map, I’m the Map (sing it with me now!) I’m the Map, if there’s a place you got to go, I’m the one you need to know…..
And then Map would lay out the 3 steps she needed to take or the 3 places she needed to go to get to her final destination. They would then repeat the 3 steps / places several times together in a catchy and short way.
Ya’ll, this works for me! This works for KIDS!
I was so often bogged down repeating myself with tooooo many words, telling each kid what we needed to do next or first or whatever. So, yep, I stole this from Dora and the Map, geniuses, they are!
It goes like this – final destination is OUT THE DOOR – whether you are heading to school, an appointment or the playground – give kids short and simple (clear) directions. Hair, Teeth, Socks and Shoes! Have them say it with you!
Say final destination is the dinner table. Short, sweet and simple – Bathroom, Hands, in your seat! Rather than yelling, Go potty now, wash your hands, set the table, do this, do that.
It’s too many words. Exhausting to say and exhausting to hear! Or not hear – Too many words and kids will tune you out.
This works exceptionally well for kiddos with ADHD. One of the main facets of ADHD is that an internal dialogue is not present. So when they are walking through routines they are lacking an internal dialogue to tell them the steps. Add in working memory issues and attention problems and you have a distracted kid who definitely isn’t getting ready because they forgot the steps. This is a technique to streamline the routine and build executive functioning at the same time.
And here’s a little jingle for the momma – Three things, sometimes four, but never, never, never more. Might just be two – you do you!
Now there’s a bit of ground work that has to have happened to get to just having to say the abbreviated version. You need to do the long versions first. Walk them through the routine. Make sure you are clear. Can they brush teeth themselves or when you say teeth do you want them to bring the toothbrush and toothpaste to you? Can she put on her own shoes or do you just want her to pick out which ones she wants and then you do it? Can he reach the soap and the towel in the bathroom or does he need to bring a chair into the kitchen?
This is all about setting yourself and your kids up for success and independence. Streamlining and simplifying the routine. Make it easy and be consistent and it will happen!
Now…I have had many moms ask me, when do I get to stop giving them reminders? I mean, do we do this every day, or when are they just training? Well, my answer is usually….never. No, I don’t really mean NEVER, but kids are kids for a long time so….giving reminders is part of the parenting job for a long time. Some kids will catch on and maintain a routine quickly….other will….not. So I have to keep my expectations reasonable and remember it’s just not their job quite yet. I want them to DO the things, my part of that is to be willing to remind them.
And to remind them without yelling or nagging. Our mornings never go smoothly when I slip into the “Why don’t you know this yet? We do this every day! You know you are suppose to….” Well, maybe they do and maybe they don’t but I know that quick, short, friendly reminders goes a lot better than me harassing and shaming them.
This works wonderfully for chores too. Want them to clean their room? Well, lots of kiddos will get stuck or frozen. That’s too big of a task! Break it down. But don’t give them all 47 steps, that’s too much. Keep it simple, mommas! Books, Toys, Clothes! Do not say or only say once, pick up the books and put the on the shelf, put all the toys away in their bins or places, place dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Yes, sometimes we need to explain the steps more fully but be careful not to overexplain and as they get older there should need to be less detailed directions. Requests and reminders, yes, but they are learning, we are teaching, not doing it for them or dragging them through it.
If you haven’t watched Dora the Explorer, do it! You know, for educational purposes so you get the Map’s 3 steps tone and jingle right! Good luck mommas, hope this helps make someone’s morning go smoother.